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I want you to give Mandy every reason for smoking, including your feelings about every reason. I want you especially to go deeply into what you told me about the control aspect of it, about how it gives you independence from her. Mandy, you will listen to everything John says, and remember it all clearly. Begin." So I began with that. With how smoking was self empowering, enabling me to rebel against her. Oh, I gave her all the standard reasons; it tastes great; it calms you; it increases your concentration, enabling you to think more clearly; it relaxes you; it gives you something to do, something to play with. But mostly it gives you control. Haven't you ever noticed how sexy women smokers are? That really turns me on. Most people in positions of power, and fame, smoke. I want to be like them. In control. Deepak spoke again. "Allright, I am shortly going to wake you both up. But, before I do, I am going to give you some instructions for you to follow. From now. What was happening to me?Now I knew I wanted to do this group/family sex thing with Chris. It was no longer because I wanted to keep him as my boyfriend, but I wanted to do it myself. Just the thought of it turned me on. But I was afraid. Face it, sex in front of other people is a pretty daunting idea. I guess you get used to it, but the first time is downright scary.I didn’t go back to the Johansson’s house that week. I couldn’t trust myself with Emily and Mrs. J. And I didn’t want to do anything until I knew I was ready. Chris came over every day and we fucked. And when he wasn’t around, I was pretty much masturbating all the time. I was in a constant state of horniness. Finally, I knew that I just had to go for it. So I told Chris.We talked about whether I wanted to start with a threesome with Emily, or include other family members in my first time. Then Chris happened to mention that the neighbors were throwing a big party that Friday, an orgy really, and there would be like a.
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